I remember after finding out I was pregnant with my SS, I felt a mixture of emotions. Excited, shocked (it was planned but I’ve always had this fear of ‘what if can’t have more?’- is it just me?), overwhelmingly happy and…scared. I’d heard that famous saying of ‘one is one, two is TWENTY’ so I was worried about how I would be able to cope. I asked everyone I knew who had 2+ children and recieved a mixture of responses. ”Oh, its SOOOO hard, you’ll lose your mind’‘ and ”as long as you have support, you’ll be ok, but it is very, very difficult’‘ or ”you’ll probably die”. This done nothing to calm my nerves, and only after speaking to one of my good friends (who has always been my favourite source for advice about my children), a mother of two boys, did I start to feel better. She said to me; ”yes, of course it’s hard, but there are just moments in your day that will be difficult, it won’t be all the time”. This turned out to be very true. Yes, sometimes I feel like I’m losing my freaking mind and want to hang my ‘mum’ coat on a peg, give up and run away (at high speed), but at other times, everything seems quite… amazingly lovely. With this in mind, I am now going to write about my mornings (it always seems like the longest part of the day for me) as a mother of two. They can go either way: fabulously fabulous or terribly terrible (my alliteration really is out of this world).
Let’s get stuck in.
A Fabulous Morning
My DD wakes up fresh and in good spirits at 7.30am (after having slept a full 11 hours). She doesn’t cry, instead I hear her singing a cute nursery rhyme in her room. My SS has decided to have a little lay in, prefering to wake up at around 8.30ish. I smile at him lovingly as I pass his cot and go over to fetch my darling daughter, who smiles at me when I enter her room.
After my DD has spent a short time on the toilet seat and does a little pee, I brush her teeth with no resistance from her. We go to the living room and she eats all her breakfast then goes off to play independantly with one of her toys, giving me an opportunity to have something to eat as well. After my third croissant, I hear my SS starting to stir. I take my last sip of tea and then briskly go to him, glancing at the time on my way. As expected, its 8.30, and I think to myself smugly, ‘I know my kids so well 😊.’
My SS is awake but not starving yet so I’m able to change his nappy and then give him his bottle, which he finishes in one sitting. He’s in a good mood this morning, so he allows me to put him down in his Baby Gym. DD plays with him, making him laugh (he’s actually obsessed with her so any attention he recieves from her is wonderful), whilst I watch them, chuckling at their cuteness and sometimes getting involved in their play time. No TV is necessary, she’s asked once, I firmly said ‘no’ and she doesn’t ask again.
At about 9am my husband leaves for work (he hasn’t needed to rush to leave this morning which is just great) and me and the children wave him off, smiling.
At 11.30 I give my DD lunch combined with her morning snack (serving these two separately means she’ll get full off her snack alone and I know this because I know my children very well 😌) which she finishes yet again! I look at the time and see that it is 11.40. ‘Time for SS’s nap, afterall, I read online babies at his age sleep every 3 hours.’ As expected, he’s rubbing his eyes. Shaking my head and smiling at my awesomeness, I swagger over to the kitchen, make him his bottle and return to the living room. He finishes this bottle too, all the while his eyes fluttering until they remain closed and he’s fallen asleep. My DD has been quietly watching us the whole time, both of us playfully whispering to each other ‘shhh, baby asleep!’. I put him in his cot and return to her, telling her it’s time for her nap too. We go to the potty, she pees and we go to her room, where I tuck her in and leave the room.
It’s 12pm and I now have time for a shower, lunch and a bit of me time. Wohayyy 💃🏽! Alternatively, my DD could have gone off to nursery, leaving me with just my SS. Everyone knows that once you have two children, one seems like such a breeze 😊.
A Terrible Morning
l’m and I’m in a deep sleep when my DD bursts into our bedroom and wakes me up.
“Water!” She says to me harshly in a LOUD voice. Thinking this is ridiculous, but scared she’ll wake up my SS, whose cot is in the room, I quickly get up and go to the kitchen with her, red eyed and stumbling. After she drinks a tiny sip (‘are you JOKING?’) I take her to her room, we have a brief argument because she doesn’t want to go to sleep, leave each other on bad terms, and I return to bed and pass out.
Half an hour later my SS wakes up crying hysterically (why does this happen sometimes- bad dream?). My husband, who has done all the night feeds, remains limp, and is as still as a rock (I’m sure I see his eyes twitch) so I wake up, take him out of his cot so we can go to the kitchen, only to find he has leaked through his nappy and is wet. ‘Oh for goodness sake, he’s going to go ballistic when I change him because he’s hungry. He’ll wake up DD! How long has he been wet?’ I change him nervously, he goes ballistic and then I hear, as expected, my DD start crying too. I pick him up and go to open my DD’s bedroom door then fight my way to the kitchen as DD clasps on to my leg crying and begging me to pick her up whilst I try to maintain a firm grip on my SS, who’s crying too. We look like a very noisy, disorganised parade.
All this and its only 7am.
At 7.30, my husband leaves for work, rushing out for an early meeting, and I say ‘bye’ grudgingly, feeling unjustifiably resentful.
Once my SS has had his bottle, I put him in his baby gym and give my DD breakfast. She’s not interested and refuses to eat. After begging her for a whole 15 minutes, I realise that ‘crap, I haven’t even taken her potty yet or brushed her teeth’. We go to the toilet, she doesn’t pee and behaves like she’s in extreme pain while I’m brushing her teeth. I think SS must have realised he’s on his own because I hear him crying so I become flustered, try to speed things up and return to the living room with DD (my toothbrush lays forgotten).
My DD spots the remote and asks for ‘Baby Tv’ (a channel available in the UAE). I say ‘no’ firmly and today she doesn’t want to accept this and decides to have massive tantrum, throwing things around the room. My SS becomes upset by her atrocious behaviour and starts crying again. I look at the time. It’s only 9.30!!!! I think, ‘well I’ve read online that 30 minutes a day of TV is ok for toddlers…’ So, acting like it has NOTHING to do with her crying and fake smiling at her to feign that I’m still in control, I say to her ”30 minutes of Baby Tv, ok?” (No, she doesn’t understand what this means, but being a typical mum, I talk aimlessly to my children. Some would call it madness). I put on the TV, feeling incompetent, irritated and weak. Once I’ve settled my SS, I go the kitchen to make some tea for myself, in need for some caffeine. My DD follows me and whines for me to come back, so I do, without a cup of tea. She then completely blanks me and continues to watch TV. I try to sneak out a few times but she catches me and, not wanting any arguements today and feeling far too tired to be able to remain patient with a tantrum that will surely occur if I act like an adult and do what I want (I need energy to ignore her, if that makes any sense), I eventually give up and remain imprisoned in the living room.
My SS is extra grouchy this morning too, so I’m doing a mixture of bouncing around the room with him in my arms (I have a dead arm), placing him on my lap and bouncing him up and down using my legs (my leg hurts now) or rocking him to try and randomly put him to sleep (he’s not tired, I’m just desperate).
Starving and feeling hard-done-by by 11am (the TV is still on), I notice that my SS is now starting to get tired. I give him a bottle and as I’m feeding him, my DD finally notices me, comes over and starts whining for me to read her a book very, very LOUDLY. I try playfully telling her to be quiet but this just causes her to whine even louder. My SS’s eyes keep closing and opening, and after whispering ‘sshhh, baby is sleeping, just wait please’ to her about 20 times, I snap and scream,
My SS jumps and wakes up (for good this time). I silently put him in his baby bouncer and go to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me to release my frustration. Mothers Guilt is in there waiting for me, speechless at my atrocious behaviour. My DD and SS are both crying, so I take a deep breath and return to the living room feeling like the world’s worst mum. I give them both a cuddle and tell myself, ‘you’ve got this. It’s almost DD’s nap, only one hour left!‘
An hour a half later I’m back in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat lid with my head in my hands (why has this place become my sanctuary?) My DD has refused her lunch, and has resisted her nap, using her ultimate weapon: crying until she vomits. Meanwhile my SS is now over-tired (meaning he’s sooo tired that he’s now unable to sleep- babies’ logic really makes no sense). My DD is crying outside the bathroom, banging on the door and I can also hear the distant cries of my SS in the living room. I take a deep breath and, for the second time, open the bathroom door and change my personality into a loving, calm and collected mother…
Reading through what I have written, I realise now that I have made my children out to be absolute terrorists. They are no such thing but rather lovely, cute, hilarious, happy children that just sometimes have their moments. Just like my days have bad moments. I very rarely have a wholly bad day with them, just like I very rarely have a wholly good day with them. So when I’m having a bad moment, I tell myself that that’s just what it is- a small moment that will definitely pass and be forgotten about. Knowing this really does keep me sane 😊.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post (would you like a part 2- EVENINGS?). Comments and feedback would be lovely.