You request, I deliver. As many people contacted me after reading my post (read ‘A Fabulous Morning and A Terrible Morning with Two Children here), (oh how I wish you people would leave comments!), I am now going to describe my afternoons/evening with my two little sunshines. As with my mornings, the rest of my day can really go either way. Enjoyably enjoyable or excruciatingly excruciating (my alliteration skills are bombastic).
Let’s get stuck in.
An Enjoyable Afternoon/Evening
After having had a shower, made myself look like someone who resembles the woman my husband married 7 years ago, tidied up, prepped dinner and watched one of my favourite TV shows (it would be too unrealistic to say Game of Thrones , that truly is a rare treat offered only on 10 occassions a year 😒), I sit and twiddle my thumbs waiting for my cute, adorable children to wake up from their afternoon nap. Is it weird that I miss them? Well, I do.
Finally I hear my SS moaning at around 2.30, so I excitedly go to get him. He’s happy to see me and I am happy to see him. I give him a quick cuddle, change his nappy, give him lunch, (he’s being weaned onto solids at the moment, and doing really well- two full spoons today! 😊) his bottle then put him in his new jumperoo (I brought it last week and I must say, he is an exquisite jumper). He jumps, I cheer and we are both having such fun. I love him ❤️.
At 3.15, I hear my DD in her room calling for me, and I smoothly go to her room and give her a little cuddle too. We go potty then go and join SS in our little bubble of love. Snacks are given to my DD, kisses and hugs are received from her and heart-melting smiles are all over my SS’s face 😊. I think to myself ‘my children make me so happy. I wonder what my third will be like…?’ My DD asks to watch TV and I firmly say ‘No’, and she doesn’t act up but instead gets a book for me to read her. ‘My little bookworm’ I think proudly, and read her and my SS some stories animatedly (everytime I finish a book she returns it neatly and gets another). We also manage to do a peaceful montessori activity together (well, I observe her doing it), and she does really well.
My darling husband is home by 5.30, and my DD flocks to him whilst my SS eagerly looks at him and waits to be picked up. Their attention now away from me, I swan over to the kitchen to get dinner ready, enjoying the tranquility of being alone (is it just me that finds cooking therapeutic?).
Dinner is served promptly at 7pm, and we all eat together (my SS is back in his jumperoo having the time.of.his.life), my DD making mess but eating independently which is just brilliant so who cares? At 7.30pm, she has her bath, splashing in delight, obediently gets out by 7.45, oiled, changed, story time and in bed by 8.15pm. Smooth-swift-successful. I fight the urge to moonwalk back to the living room (partly because I can’t actually do the moonwalk).
My husband has already changed my SS and is giving him his final bottle. He’s asleep by the time he finishes it and we put him in his cot. He looks so peaceful.
Its 8.30pm and both my children are asleep. Miraculously, I hear fireworks outside (this actually happened btw) and I feel like it suits my current mood. It truly was an enjoyable evening...
An Excruciating Afternoon/Evening
It’s hard to distinguish when the morning ended and the afternoon began: although my DD has reluctantly now gone down for a nap, my SS has been awake ALL MORNING and early afternoon, fussy, over-tired, moany and un-settleable (is that a word?) I’m still in my PJS, haven’t washed my face or brushed my teeth and it’s 1pm (‘shower? Psshhhh’). After what feels like the 100th bottle I try to desperately feed him to put him to sleep goes to waste, I think, quite irrationally, that he may be hungry for some solid food, even though he hasn’t actually learned to swallow yet and is still in the weaning stage (I am desperate as you can clearly see). So I prepare some apple puree, put him in his snug seat and try to feed him. After a ferocious tongue vs spoon fight, he takes a small bite and spits it out all over my clothes. I’ll just use some baby wipes to clean my top, no need to change. I give up eventually and as I take him out of his seat, I notice he has pooed. Whilst changing him, I get watery mustard poop on my trousers. It’s ok, wipes can fix this Zee, stay positive. I then realise that he’s probably more settled now he’s released his bowels so get his last unfinished bottle and give it to him. He drinks some and then projectile vomits all over me, leaving me wet and sticky. I just don’t care about anything anymore. Brain dead and dejected, I hold him emotionless, and low and behold, that is when he decides to drop off to sleep.
Thinking to myself, ‘wow, that saying about the light being at the end of the tunnel is so true. Things are looking up. I can relax for a while now. DD won’t wake up for another hour!’, I carefully take him to his room and place him in his cot. And then, I hear my DD crying. SHE IS AWAKE. I get a towel that’s on the bed and throw it across the room as aggressively and silently as I can. I then go to my pillow and scream into it, unable to comprehend my crap situation. Feeling deeply sorry for myself, I go to deal with her, hoping she’s in a good mood.
She’s in a terrible mood. I offer the world (in the form of TV, food and even a biscuit) but she just throws it back in my face ungratefully and whines, repeatedly screaming ‘MUMMY!’ for no apparent reason. It seems she doesn’t want me anywhere near her but won’t allow me to leave her alone either – an irritatingly impossible situation. Every mother knows the effect whining has on a mother’s sanity. It feels like a thin, very long screw is being drilled into your brain, and your heart actually hurts (no, not because you feel sorry for them, but rather your annoyance level is so high that your brain cannot bear the pain alone).
She eventually comes out of this terrible mood and calms down, and after going to the potty, asks me for a snack. I go to the kitchen, observing the bomb site that is my house as I pass it, feeling depressed and stressed out (a messy house always makes matters worse). Whilst cutting some fruit up for her (of course she’s followed me in there and is opening up cupboards and being messy and annoying) I hear my SS crying. HE IS AWAKE.
No break was given me to me whatsoever, I look, smell and feel like a tramp and am residing in trampy conditions. I slam the cutting board into the sink (my DD looks at me shocked and I fake smile at her like everything is fine) and stomp off to go and get him.
It’s 4.30pm and we are all in the living room, my DD watching TV and my SS watching with her (Mother’s Guilt hisses in my ear ‘he’s 5 months old and is watching TV?! You lazy, useless human being’ . Click here to read more about Mother’s Guilt). All I’ve had today is a cup of tea and and I am feeling extremely tired. I go to the window, stepping over all the mess around me and observe people walking down the street, not a care in the world. Two girls are laughing, walking together and I think, resentfully’ what’s so funny? There is NOTHING funny right now. They are soo annoying and stupid’. If they looked up and saw me, they’d think I’m a weird messy-looking woman staring longingly at them, so I go back to the sofa.
‘My husband is home soon, so at least I’ll get a bit of peace then. The light at the end of the tunnel is near’. I call him and ask him lovingly what time exactly he’ll be back.
“Oh I’m sorry babe but I think I’m going to be late today. So many meetings to get through! How’s the gang?”
I fight the urge to wail and throw my phone at the wall and instead we have a few more exchanges and then I hang up. I think, savagely, ‘I am NOT cooking today. How could he do this to us?! I’m all alone and nobody is here to help me. Poor, poor me.’ Ungrateful and dramatic is what I am. After all, the house we live in and the food we eat is due to his hard work. I realise this after a while and go to the kitchen to prep dinner. Its 5.30pm. Only 2 and a half hours to go. Surprisingly, nobody follows me to the kitchen so I start cutting up some vegetables and almost start to relax until I hear my SS start screaming. I hurry back and find my DD dragging him by his legs across the room. This is just a JOKE now. I abandon my work in the kitchen and return to the living room to supervise these two kids.
At 7.00pm my husband returns home. My DD, who had behaved like a complete terrorist the last 2 hours (to go through details will just take far too long) suddenly becomes a cute little girl again and flocks to him at the door. My SS has finally taken a nap and the house suddenly seems quiet. I can’t help but think ‘traitors‘. My husband returns to what looks like bliss where prior to his arrival it was a disgraceful war zone. The fact that I broke down to him on his way home on the phone just feels embarrassing now…funny how moments just pass by.
I’ll stop there or this post will become a mini book. A few people who read my last post told me they were put off having children. Please understand that all the difficult times are just MOMENTS and can be turned around so easily due to the love you have for your child. A small example of this that I can share is from the other day, when I was sitting on the sofa crying (I’d had a really bad day). My DD came to me and took my hand.
“Mummy, come, come!’
I allowed her to take me to her room and she showed me different coloured Play-Dough that she had managed to put into circle shapes. I looked at her and she was beaming at me, feeling so proud of what she had achieved and wanting me to witness it. All my sadness and frustration vanished and the day that had passed had been forgotten just by her lovely expression.These moments make everything worth it 😊.
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