Yes, I’ve done it. I have chosen to poke a topic that causes controversy all over the world, and one that is extremely divided in peoples’ opinions of it. I didn’t plan to. I thought ‘don’t touch this area, Zee. It’ll cause agression and volatility and little you, with your little blog, can’t handle it’. But then, I read a blog post by another mother discussing this subject (Click here to visit their fabulous blog 😊) and became tempted. Two thoughts struck me. Number one: this is such an important topic, and this blog was created for me to talk about my thoughts, and vaccinations is something that preoccupies my mind often. Number two: this is a little blog, so I doubt my opinions will have much of an impact (😕). Before I begin, let me make clear that this is not a post arguing one particular view, nor is it an informative one. It’s just one of my usual rants.
Lets get stuck in 🙈.
So…I have not given my children any of the vaccinations. Due the lowered infant mortality rate, the alarmingly high rise in autism, the positive reviews about it and the concerning ingredients within the injections, I am so conflicted on my decision. Here are some of my internal battles with it.
Other Mothers Doing research on vaccinations makes me feel so sure of my decision, but then doing research on vaccinations makes me feel so unsure too. I look at mums who have made the same decision as me and this makes me feel secure, but then I look at mums who have chosen to do the opposite and this makes me feel so insecure. It almost makes me wish that I haven’t read, heard and seen what I have. I think ‘oh how I wish I could have just gone through with it, these mums must feel so relaxed, knowing that their children are now safe from all these nasty illnesses. Ignorance is such bliss’. Thankfully, I have never been made to feel like I’m wrong for my decision- because I’m not one to initiate a dialogue about it lest it may become a negative debate (‘you haven’t vaccinated your children?! That’s so bad, it has so many benefits and-bla bla bla), and this is something I want avoid.
Arguing about something that I’m not even completely sure about would just be draining (want to know what exactly it is that makes me unsure about vaccinated my children? I’ll call you and I’ll explain it you. In Kaixana. One of the rarest languages in the world.)
Family With family, however, it’s a complete different story. Booed and jeered by my mum when I walk past, and subtly told I’m wrong by my mother-in-law, I’ve become quite immune to their abuse (joke). That’s grandmothers for you: they love their grandchildren immensely. Sometimes their words do hit home. Like when my mother in law says to me ‘I gave all of my children the injections, and they are all fine!’ This makes me wonder, ‘maybe I am making this into a big deal. I’m healthy (minus my sugar addiction) and never had any adverse side effects from the vaccinations, neither did any of my siblings. What if I’m wrong about everything?’ Even worse is when my own mum says ‘if they get sick, it’ll be ALL YOUR FAULT’. The thought of my children becoming ill over something that I could have avoided makes me feel physically sick (Mothers Guilt would devour me, read more about her here)But then, what I’ve learned about these vaccines makes me think, ‘I just can’t take that risk’ (want to know the risk? Send me your address and I’ll mail you an encrypted letter).
Doctors You would think that speaking to a doctor would give me some clarity. Wrong. Speaking to them just makes me feel even more suspicious about these injections. I know a lot of mothers who have not vaccinated their children hate going to the GP because of that question that always has to come up: are you up to date with the vaccinations? Their answer causes severe hostility from practitioners, making them feel like the world’s worst mum (one of my friends was even falsely told that her son could no longer be a patient at her GP!). This makes me wonder: why does it bother them so much? They behave like it effects them personally. It can’t be because it poses a risk to other children, those children are vaccinated, so aren’t they ‘safe’ from unvaccinated children? I have heard some other theories as to why mothers receive so much pressure from practitioners (want to know my theory? Call me, we’ll meet in a deserted alley at night and I’ll whisper it in your ear).
I used to be very open to discussing the vaccines with Doctors, even wanting to be convinced that I should give them to my children. Feeling nervous that I hadn’t, but even more scared of the idea of it, I was looking for some reassurance that these injections would be good for my children. Unfortunately, when having discussions with them, they never seemed to be able to answer my questions fully. Rather, they made empty statements such as ‘that research has been proven wrong (by who? Do YOU know exactly how the research is wrong?)’ and ‘the doctor who has claimed that vaccines are dangerous has now has had his license taken away (but he was still a doctor? He studied just like you so there must be some truth in his claims) and ‘the risks are very low, millions of children have had the vaccines and they are fine (but what if mine are part of that small percentage that won’t be ‘fine’?)***************************************Of course I won’t be meeting you in an Alley (how dangerous!), nor will I be sending an encrypted letter (didn’t even know what ‘encrypted’ meant till writing this post) and I don’t even speak Kiaxana (only one person in the world speaks the language!). I hope that can help illustrate just how much I don’t want to propagate what I know about the topic of vaccinations. This post is a messy, confusing piece of text, and I am too, so why would I plant doubt in your mind if l’m not even sure? I wrote this purely for the purpose of having a rant, which you all know I love to do.
I hope you have (kind of) enjoyed reading this post 😊. What is your opinion on the matter? Would love to hear your thoughts on it and your own personal experiences of vaccinating/ not vaccinating your children.
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